


Rubber Bands Kind Of Look Like Soba

by Ashimattack



Series: Fragments [8]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Everyone is a nerd, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-16
Updated: 2016-09-16
Packaged: 2018-08-15 07:54:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8048401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashimattack/pseuds/Ashimattack
Summary: “You’re a nerd,” said Akaashi.
“I’m not a nerd I’m a guitarist,” Kuroo responded, “musicians aren’t nerds.”
“But you’re wearing glasses,” commented Bokuto.
Kuroo’s eyes widened and he grabbed his glasses and flung them across the room.
“What about now?” he asked with a smirk, “fuck I can’t see.”





	Rubber Bands Kind Of Look Like Soba

**Author's Note:**

> I apologise that this has taken so long. hahaha  
> also I still can't write endings

Kuroo, Tsukishima, Bokuto and Akaashi were all lazing around the kitchen table at Bokuto and Kuroo’s rental house. The table (that they’d gotten for free on gumtree) was littered with many rubber bands that had come from a 1kg bag full of them. Kuroo was working on creating a ball made entirely of them whilst Akaashi was messing around on his phone and Bokuto was flicking rubber bands at Kuroo.

Tsukishima was bored.

“Why aren’t you using any coloured bands on the ball?” asked Tsukishima as he eyed Kuroo’s work, “why is there no colour on that ball?”

“Because I’m not racist like you, I don’t see colour,” responded Kuroo, not looking up from where he was delicately placing another band on his ball.

“Well I am a racist and I demand to see some colour on that ball,” replied Tsukishima.

“The coloured ones are all too thin, I don't want to use the thin ones,” answered Kuroo properly.

“Why not?” asked Akaashi, looking up from his phone, “also someone send me a heart in Tsum Tsum I just ran out.”

“No you’ll just beat my high score again,” scoffed Tsukishima, “I swear you’re cheating.”

“It’s not me its Bambi!” replied Akaashi, “he’s completely broken. Anyway weren’t we talking about Kuroo’s irrational dislike of thin rubber bands and not your horrible Tsum Tsum abilities?”

“They don’t take as much weight as the thick ones, they’re not as useful for this,” answered Bokuto, “better to save them all for flicking at people.”

“Rubber bands kind of look like soba,” commented Akaashi as he flicked one at Kuroo, who was in the middle of taking parts of his rubber band ball apart so that it would be exactly even.

“Under the right conditions anything can look like rubber bands,” replied Kuroo as he didn't look away from his rubber band ball, “provided those things are rubber bands. Whose been touching this? Someone has been doing it wrong. Probably Oikawa.”

“Rubber bands probably taste like soba too,” said Tsukishima as he also flicked rubber band at Kuroo, “why do you guys have so many rubber bands anyway? Whose are they?”

“First of all, how dare you,” said Bokuto, “ second of all it was definitely Oikawa, and third of all they’re everyone’s, they were a house buy for the purpose of a rubber band ball. And for flicking.”

“Wait why are you so offended about soba?” asked Akaashi, “it’s not meant to have flavour… it's the sauce… it's the same with spaghetti.”

“Are you saying spaghetti has no flavour?” asked Kuroo, as he finally paused from his careful ministrations.

“Yeah I guess,” shrugged Akaashi.

“Dem’s fighting words,” said Bokuto seriously, “if I was Italian I’d grow out my moustache, put on my oversized hat and knock you out.”

“Wouldn't that be a Spanish person?” asked Tsukishima.

“Pretty much the same thing,” replied Kuroo as he returned to his rubber band ball.

Tsukishima made a face at him and attempted to flick another rubber band at him but instead managed to hit himself in the hand instead on the sensitive part just beneath his fingernail and it started bleeding profusely.

“Motherfu-“ he swore as he held his hand, “that really hurts.”

“Serves you right,” said Kuroo as he stuck his tongue out, “insulting my national food.”

“You’re not even Italian,” replied Akaashi, returning to his phone now that Kenma had sent him another heart.

Tsukishima stood up and walked over to the cupboards, looking for the first aid kit and muttering under his breath.

“Where are the band aids?” asked Tsukishima as he looked through the cupboards.

“Oh we don’t have any,” replied Bokuto, “ we don't believe in band aids.”

“What?” asked Tsukishima as he paused his rifling through the cupboards.

“If God wanted our wounds to be covered he wouldn’t have given us wounds,” responded Kuroo.

“Then why would he give us band aids?” asked Akaashi curiously.

“He didn't,” answered Bokuto, “Band aids are the work of the devil, given to us to test our faith.”

“You just forgot to buy them didn’t you,” accused Tsukishima.

“No,” said Bokuto as he scrunched up his nose, “its definitely that other thing I said.”

“Uh huh,” answered Tsukishima in a voice that said he really didn’t believe the other, “does anyone want tea while I’m up here?”

“Yeah I’ll have some,” said Akaashi.

“Me too,” said Bokuto.

“Do you want some Kuroo?” asked Tsukishima.

“Nah I’m good,” replied Kuroo absently.

Tsukishima was partway through making three cups of tea when Kuroo finally looked up.

“Wait I do want tea,” he said.

Tsukishima sighed and boiled the kettle again to make another cup.

“Why did you make my tea later??” asked Kuroo in mock outrage.

“You know I think I’ll just tip this one out…” Tsukishima replied as he started tipping it in the sink.

“Wait no no don't!” said Kuroo hastily.

“Did you add sugar to mine?” asked Akaashi.

“Yeah I added four,” replied Tsukishima.

“Yeah that’s good, that’s a good amount. I agree with that,” Akaashi replied with a nod.

“Can you put some milk in mine too?” Bokuto asked, “yeah that's right, milk it for me.”

“I’ll milk you,” threatened Tsukishima.

“Yeah do it,” replied Bokuto with a wink.

Tsukishima made to walk back to the table but a cupboard door handle got caught on his sleeve. He was pulled back by the force and spilled a little bit of tea on his hand. He put the cup down and ran his hand under the tap, swearing profusely at the same time.

“Ahh these cupboards are so annoying! They get caught on everything.” He swore, “ any exposed hole.”

“Wait what, did you just say colour?” asked Kuroo.

“Yes my holes are just full of colour,” replied Tsukishima sarcastically.

“Full of my colour,” answered Kuroo.

“You really aren’t helping,” muttered Tsukishima in response as he turned off the tap.

“Can you bring me my tea?” asked Akaashi.

“…No,” replied Tsukishima.

“Yes?” asked Akaashi again.

“…No,” repeated Tsukishima.

“Yes?” asked Akaashi again, slightly higher this time.

“…No,” repeated Tsukishima again.

“Sometimes I do things for you?” said Akaashi hopefully.

“When?” asked Tsukishima.

“Always,” replied Akaashi resolutely.

“Name one time specifically,” responded Tsukishima with a scowl.

“Just today when I drove you home?” replied Akaashi after a moment’s pause.

“Oh yes right,” said Tsukishima with a shudder as he recalled the earlier car trip, “you’ve got me there.”

“Please?” asked Akaashi with wide eyes. 

“Didn’t he give you a blow job like, this morning?” asked Kuroo.

“…Fine,” Tsukishima said with sigh.

“Can I have a sippah straw for my tea?” asked Bokuto.

“Didn’t you put one in apple juice this morning?” asked Tsukishima, wrinkling his nose in disgust.

“That was yesterday,” replied Bokuto.

“Same thing,” said Tsukishima with a wave of his hand.

“Actually I think it was two days ago,” said Kuroo.

“Same thing,” repeated Tsukishima.

“Actually it was 6 months ago,” said Akaashi.

“Same thing… wait we didn’t have those 6 months ago,” said Tsukishima, “I know for a fact they wouldn’t last that long.”

“Secret stash,” said Bokuto.

“Why would you explicitly show me you drinking apple juice out of one if it was from your secret stash?” asked Tsukishima pointedly.

“…it was a goof,” responded Bokuto.

“You’re a goof,” said Kuroo as he threw the rubber band ball at Bokuto’s head.

“Wait are you serious?” asked Tsukishima in disbelief, “you just spent so long on that thing: why are you throwing it away?”

“Because I feel like playing guitar,” replied Kuroo, pulling out his guitar.

Tsukishima wouldn’t ever admit it but he was secretly pleased at the prospect of Kuroo’s guitar playing. He was very talented and constantly made up songs, his most famous ones to date were entitled “fuck you Oikawa” and “Iwaizumi is the worst housemate ever because he stole my smoked salmon –oh but wait everyone else including me is actually worse so maybe he’s the best?”.

“There were no new episodes of One Piece today,” crooned Kuroo, “what the fuck is this shit?”

“Yeah there weren’t any new chapters of Tokyo Ghoul either,” interrupted Tsukishima, “maybe anime is on hiatus?”

“What, all anime?” asked Akaashi.

“Yeah maybe it finally got banned,” said Bokuto.

“Anime is over,” sung Kuroo, “We’re finally free~.”

“Your house is so disgusting,” commented Tsukishima, changing the subject, “don’t you have a cleaner?”

“Yeah she’s not very good,” replied Bokuto.

““Man I hate the cleaner,” Kuroo sang with contempt.

“Why?” asked Akaashi curiously.

“She always parks in my spot,” he continued singing, “and she doesn’t do a very good job of cleaning either.”

“Why do you have a cleaner then?” asked Akaashi.

“It’s a clause on the lease, they wouldn't let us rent otherwise,” answered Bokuto.

“You at least have a dishwasher, why are there so many dishes?” asked Tsukishima in confusion.

“Well we’re each meant to have a night but everyone is shit,” replied Kuroo, finally pausing his singing, “oh wait its my night… stop looking at me like that I said everyone was shit I never tried to exempt myself from that.”

“Surely you could just tidy a little bit though?” asked Tsukishima, “like this blue tac on the table. Why is it here? I mean, apart from blue tac’s many purposes.”

“What is a purpose of blue tac that is not one of its many uses?” asked Kuroo.

“…Blue tac butter.” Answered Tsukishima after a moment’s thought, “like peanut butter but blue tac.”

“So just blue tac of toast?” asked Oikawa as he and Iwaizumi walked in the front door.

“No, it would be made in the same way as peanut butter but substitute peanuts for delicious blue tac,” said Tsukishima.

“I honestly think that would sound better than peanut butter,” said Iwaizumi.

“Just because you’re allergic to peanuts that doesn't mean you should push your propaganda on us Iwa,” scolded Oikawa.

“Wait allergies are propaganda now?” asked Tsukishima.

“Oh Iwaizumi!” said Kuroo excitedly, “have you started playing no man’s sky yet?”

“Yeah,” replied Iwaizumi, “its not that great…”

“No,” agreed Kuroo, “but the code for it is amazing! They’ve developed it so intensely that it has all these different things for each player, its all personalised so that nothing is alike but its all done on the smallest server. Its absolutely incredible!”

“What’s the game about?” asked Oikawa.

“You go to a planet and get to like, take control of it and stuff,” replied Iwaizumi, “take care of its inhabitant and whatever.”

“Sounds like animal crossing,” said Oikawa.

“How on earth is it like animal crossing? You’re a astronaut and you go to a new planet,” said Kuroo.

“Yeah. And the locals make you their mayor,” said Oikawa.

“No… they tolerate you till you hurt the place then they try and kill you,” corrected Iwaizumi.

“Just like animal crossing,” said Oikawa.

“How do you hurt the town in animal crossing?” asked Tsukishima.

“I don't know, let weeds grow... whack people with nets and axes,” said Oikawa.

“Just hit them till they surround you with pit falls till you die,” said Akaashi.

“Savage,” added in Oikawa.

“Anyway!” interrupted Kuroo, “the coding for this game is absolutely incredible.”

“You’re a nerd,” said Akaashi.

“I’m not a nerd I’m a guitarist,” Kuroo responded, “musicians aren’t nerds.”

“But you’re wearing glasses,” commented Bokuto.

Kuroo’s eyes widened and he grabbed his glasses and flung them across the room.

“What about now?” he asked with a smirk, “fuck I can’t see.” 

“Oikawa,” said Tsukishima, “why are your made up to look like Harley Quinn from Suicide Squad right now?”

“Did you just notice?” asked Oikawa with a huff. He had blue and pink eye shadow on and a little heart on his cheek, “Makki and Matsun did it.”

“It looks awesome!” said Bokuto, turning to Akaashi, “Why don't you have a little love heart?”

“Because he’s not as good as me,” said Oikawa smugly.

“Nah they always are, no question about it,” said Iwaizumi, “except for that time you two battled as villagers in smash to see who was cuter and you beat them but then immediately lost to me.”

“That was the day we discovered I was the cutest,” said Oikawa, “but not as cute as Iwa who beat us both.”

“He’s also the best housemate,” said Kuroo.

“That is true,” added in Iwaizumi.

“How are you the best housemate?” asked Oikawa, offended.

“Don't forget that I do things for you occasionally.” Said Iwaizumi, “like letting Akaashi drive you home the other day.”

“Oh yeah there was that,” said Oikawa flatly, “but don’t forget that I’m loveable and sexy.”

“Oh sweetie, who’s been hurting you?” asked Kuroo with faux concern, “telling you these lies?”

“Oh ha ha you’re so very funny,” said Oikawa sarcastically as he started walking towards where everyone was seated. On his way he tripped over the massive pile of old enviro-bags and pillows that littered the floor. There was a round of laughter while he huffed from his position on the floor.

“Can someone please take this rubbish out?” Whined Oikawa from his position on the floor, “it is so annoying to trip over this constantly and its not my rubbish.”

“Sorry I don’t believe in taking rubbish out,” replied Kuroo.

“When did you become a hoarder?” asked Akaashi.

“If God didn’t want us to hoard he wouldn’t have given us so much space,” replied Iwaizumi.

“The why did he give us rubbish bins and people to take the rubbish away?” asked Tsukishima.

“That’s not God that was the council,” replied Iwaizumi.

“What’s the difference?” asked Akaashi.

“The council are always actively defying God’s work and its time they were stopped,” said Bokuto resolutely.

“We should riot, get some pitchforks and torches,” agreed Kuroo.

“Do they even do that anymore?” asked Tsukishima.

“No but we should bring it back,” said Bokuto.

“Yeah we could make it a society at the university, I reckon people would be up for it,” said Kuroo.

“For torching the council and picketing against rubbish collectors?” asked Akaashi with an eyebrow raise.

“Well, I definitely think they’d be up for rioting,” corrected Bokuto “uni students are always ready to riot.”

“Yeah we could riot against something different each week,” agreed Iwaizumi, “it doesn’t really matter what we riot against, just as long as they know we are angry.”

“Speaking of angry, are you guys ready for d&d? Kenma is coming over later to be our DM,” announced Kuroo, “Before he comes though I just want to mention that I’m concerned by how much money he is spending on card games.”

“Wait what,” interjected Bokuto, “I’m the DM though!”

“Bokuto we already told you that you’re not allowed to be the DM anymore,” said Akaashi liberally, “Kenma is going to be the DM since he actually knows what he is doing.”

“I was an excellent DM,” defended Bokuto.

“Bokuto, all the enemies were owls,” stated Kuroo, “and you got mad at us when we told you to mix it up a little, then stormed out.”

“Well maybe if you would stop killing all my owls that wouldn’t be a problem!”

“They were the bad guys, we were supposed to be killing them,” stated Tsukishima.

“Ugh fine. But my new character Is going to be a Bard,” stated Bokuto, “and my soul purpose is to mess shit up for everybody else.”

“That… doesn't sound like it’ll be productive for the game,” said Akaashi.

“Well that’s too bad,” said Bokuto as he threw a character sheet onto the table, “Olimar’s goal in life is to have as much fun as possible ‘high risk low reward’ is his motto!”

“Wow you’ve already written an entire character sheet for this character,” said Tsukishima, sounding somewhat impressed as he picked up the completed sheet, “a giant who plays the ukulele, piano and violin?”

“Yeah,” said Bokuto as he grabbed Kuroo’s ukulele, “the piano and the violin may be hard to drag around, so he mostly plays the ukulele.”

“There are no ukuleles in this world,” said Iwaizumi.

“Then it's a lute,” said Bokuto as he started playing the ukulele, Kuroo had been teaching him for a while.

“Well I’m for it,” stated Tsukishima, “we need someone neutral to counterbalance all this evil.” He motioned towards Kuroo and Oikawa, whose characters were lawful and chaotic evil respectively.

“But we already have quite a lot of chaotic characters,” said Akaashi, “I’m worried that not much will get done?”

“Well I’ll be a neutral good character,” said Iwaizumi, “then with Tsukishima as chaotic good and Akaashi as true neutral we should be fine right?”

“Okay but Akaashi needs to calm down on the dexterity,” said Tsukishima.

“What do you mean? I’m a thief! I’m meant to be dextrous,” defended Akaashi.

“Yeah but you cant just put all your points towards it… you’ve got plus 8 on it an nothing on anything else,” stated Kuroo, “you’re screwed if you need to do anything but steal.”

“Lirael needs to steal,” stated Akaashi, “she’s running from her old home. She used to be a noble elf and is used to luxury.”

“Ohh are we introducing our characters?” said Oikawa excitedly, “my character’s name is Tooru and he’s a beautiful night elf, he’s a fighter who likes to kill people.”

“…Is that all there is to your character?” asked Iwaizumi in confusion and Oikawa nodded vigorously.

“Yes,” replied Oikawa, “also he likes to get to know a town by starting a bar fight.”

“You... didn’t put much effort into that at all?” said Iwaizumi, “my character’s name is Grakorg and he is a heavenly religious paladin, and a fighter.”

“Grakorg?” asked Oikawa with a snort, “that’s an ugly name.”

“So is Tooru,” replied Iwaizumi and Oikawa gasped.

“So rude!”

“I have to admit, Grakorg is kind of a hideous name,” said Tsukishima.

“I just mashed together a bunch of harsh sounding letters,” replied Iwaizumi with a shrug, “what’s your character like?”

“Sah is a Tiefling,” replied Tsukishima with a smirk, “she’s a sorcerer and running from someone but if you ask her anything she will probably lie.”

“Why would we ask her anything then?” asked Kuroo in confusion.

“Well I told you that out of game, in game you have to take her at face value,” said Tsukishima, “at least that’s what Kenma said.”

“Whatever, my character is a human warlock named Silah, he’s lawful evil and very studious,” replied Kuroo.

“Sounds like a nerd,” stated Bokuto.

“Shut up!” replied Kuroo, “anyway as I was saying we need to do something about Kenma’s pokemon card addiction.”

“Yeah it's true that he’s getting a little bit excessive,” replied Bokuto, “I think we need to hold an intervention.”

“A card game intervention?” asked Tsukishima, “yeah I guess I’m in.”

“I don’t really see why this is our problem….” Said Akaashi, “ if anything maybe we should just tell his parents, they’d crack if they knew he was spending this much. Don't you recall him saying his mum threw all his old cards away? Clearly he is a repeat offender.”

“I feel like telling his parents is a little rude…” said Iwaizumi tentatively.

“We’d do it anonymously, it would never have to come back to us,” assured Akaashi, “we’d be the last people to suspect”

“Wouldn’t we actually be the first people to suspect?” asked Tsukishima.

“Well it is kind of our fault he got into the game,” said Kuroo, “ although none of us actually explicitly told him to start playing, he just followed all of us and started.”

“Well, I did briefly mention it once when I first began and was telling everyone to play, but he said he wouldn't because he had no money so maybe in a year or so,” mumbled Bokuto, “but then he went and bought some cards so I guess its been a year?”

“Okay well since this is your fault you have to be the one to throw the brick,” said Akaashi.

“Wait what brick??” asked Kuroo, alarmed.

“The one with the note attached to it that we’re gonna throw through his parents’ front window,” replied Akaashi like it was obvious, “it's the only way to do it anonymously.”

“I honestly feel like that will just raise more problems for them,” commented Iwaizumi.

“Yeah we are not doing that to Kenma’s parents, I’ve known them my whole life,” said Kuroo, “and what’s the note gonna say? “Your son is spending too much on card games also sorry about the window”? I don’t think that will work.” 

“I think a new window is actually probably cheaper than all the cards,” added in Tsukishima.

“What about the bail we have to pay after we get arrested for breaking a window?” asked Oikawa.

“Nah I think it would work,” said Bokuto, standing up for Akaashi, “of they arrest us, we’ll just tell them it was a goof or something.”

“Oh I’m sure that would go so well,” said Tsukishima as he rolled his eyes and Akaashi nodded vigorously.

“Why are you suddenly so keen to throw bricks??” asked Kuroo in disbelief, “you didn't even want to help before!”

“I am a selfless god,” said Akaashi in mock outrage, “and I’m always eager to help a friend in need.”

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on [tumblr!](http://callingallbutterflies.tumblr.com/)


End file.
